Articles & Letters

Letters of support sent in from friends and randoms.

Top 10 Tips For Your Vagina

Top 10 Tips For Your Vagina

By Jacqueline Hellyer - www.jacquelinehellyer.com

A friend asked me recently what my top 10 tips for a vagina would be. Good question, I thought. So many women feel disconnected from their genitals, don’t have a good feeling about them. We don’t even have a decent word for them, often using the word “vagina” to apply to the whole genital area. So here I use the word ‘vagina’ to apply to just the vagina, and as to the whole of the genitals..? Well, read on!

  1. Honour It. The female genitals are the source of life. Other than a small input by the man at the start, the whole process of creating life takes place in the female genitals. That would have to be the most awesome thing in the entire universe!
  1. Name It. For such an awesome part of the body, it’s incredible that we don’t have a decent name, other than ‘genitals’. Even in casual talk there are not a lot of strong gorgeous names. We often refer to our ‘bits’, ‘down there’, ‘private parts’ or ‘nether regions’. It’s difficult to relate to an area of your body that you can’t even name! So give it a name: it’s my fanny or my quim, my yoni, qualia, bajingo, honey-pot, cinnebar crevasse….Even my cunt, because originally the meaning of the word cunt was “to beguile a man with one’s feminine charms”, which is rather a wonderful concept.
  1. Understand It. I think one of the reasons women don’t feel so good about their quim/farfalla/bajingo is because they don’t know how incredible it is. Women are built for extreme sexual pleasure! The anatomy, the physiology, the energetics. Once you understand that, and realise what you’re sexual potential is, then wow, you’re going to love it. Do you know how big your clitoris is? Most of it is on the inside! Do you know how much engorging material there is down there? How orgasms work? How you can go beyond normal orgasm to an orgasmic state? All thanks to your amazing bajingo.
  1. Incorporate It. It’s part of your body, so feel it as part of your body. Close your eyes and and go over every part of it in your mind, both the inside and the outside. Explore it with your hands and fingers. Take a good look at it in the mirror. When you can recline in front of a mirror with legs wide apart and look and say to yourself “Mmm, that is gorgeous!”, then you’ll know it’s part of you.
  1. Pamper It. Our bodies love and deserve to be pampered. It’s so good for the soul. Your honey-pot is part of your body and deserves that pampering too. So if you’re in a hot bath, part your legs and allow the warmth to wash over it. If you’re in the ocean, part your legs and allow the salty sting of the water to caress it. When you apply creams to you body, slather yourself all over (no creams or oils on the inside though). When making love with your partner, request/invite/allow it to be touched/massaged/embraced.
  1. Pleasure It. Our genitals are made for pleasure. The clitoris has no purpose at all, other than to provide exquisite pleasure. The mass of nerves, engorging material, lubricating and wetting functions, all conspire to show that our fannys are meant to be used for pleasure. So do so. With one another or on your own. Particularly on your own. The womanly art of self-pleasuring is so important to self-loving and self-honouring. See my video on self pleasuring if you need advice on how to do this (www.jacquelinehellyer.com/info_videos.htm).
  1. Listen to It. This is particularly in relation to having sex. One of the biggest problems I’ve noticed with people’s sex lives is that they move too fast. You have to listen to your body and in particular to your quim to know when you’re ready to move on. So you don’t start to kiss until your mouth is drawn to your partner’s. You don’t allow your breasts to be touched until you feel them lifting and moving towards your partner, wanting to be touched. You don’t allow your qualia to be touched until you feel your hips raising and your legs opening. And you don’t allow your partner to enter you until you feel your cinnebar crevasse yearning for his jade stalk, your yoni invites in his lingam, your cunt is dripping with desire for his cock… If you’re not really feeling it, don’t go there.

Now some tips on keeping it in good shape:

  1. Squeeze It. There’s a band of muscle that goes from your pubic bone to your tail bone. It’s important to keep it toned as it does some very important things. Firstly, it holds all your internal organs in place. If you don’t keep those muscles toned, your vagina might fall out when you get old. I kid you not, vaginal prolapse can happen to older women. Secondly, the contraction of these muscles is an important part of orgasm. The more toned the muscles, the better the orgasm. So ladies – squeeze! And squeeze some more! Imagine you’re stopping urine from flowing, those are the muscles to use. Squeeze rhythmically, then squeeze and hold a few seconds, then squeeze progressively tighter, keeping your abdominal muscles relaxed.
  1. Rest It. Rest is such an important part of health and well being. It applies to your vagina too. It’s good to give it a rest. Particularly during your period. In many traditional cultures women would take time out during their period to relax and rest, often with other women. This is not as many anthropologists have interpreted it because the women were considered ‘unclean’ at that time, but because it was a sacred time for a woman to go within. We modern women would benefit from doing the same. Take it easy during your period, especially the heavier days. Avoid exerting yourself, be peaceful, and avoid genital stimulation, especially intercourse. Get into the rhythm of your cycle, be aware of the ebbs and flows of your energy and work with those flows, rather than ignoring them or fighting them.
  1. Let it flow. And finally, on the topic of menstruation, let it flow. I do believe modern women try to hide to ignore and hide their cycles excessively. Tampons have their place, but if you let the blood flow, you’ll get more in touch with your body. So rest and let the blood flow during your period, and you’ll find more energy and more intuitive flow in the rest of your life.

To get more in touch with your feminine sexuality, attend one of my Luscious Woman workshops: www.jacquelinehellyer.com/luscious-woman

Love,
Jacqueline

Blog plug: unhalfbricking.net

Here is a blog post from https://unhalfbricking.net/ by Lauren, a participant plugging the project :)

“I’ve been lucky enough to take part in a wonderfully empowering and moving photography project by Philip Werner, the 101 Vagina Project.

His aim is to create a coffee table book of photographs of women, front on, showing the hips and mons pubis, accompanied by writings from women about their vaginas and their story with their body. Philip has currently taken 63 photos with an aim to take 101, as suggested by the title. Funds raised from the book will go towards the V-day fund, established by Eve Ensler, to end violence against women.

Even from the few pictures currently on the front page of the website (one of which is mine!) it is clear how much beauty there is in the diversity of women’s shapes, sizes and colours, and the end product will be a truly stunning celebration of the many shades of women’s experience of their bodies and sexuality.

It’s a beautiful idea and one that Philip obviously truly believes in, and that genuine drive to empower women to tell their bodies’ stories comes through in the work.

Women in and around Melbourne, I really can’t encourage you enough to like the page on Facebook and join the event page, and to get in touch with Philip to take part in this project. Please don’t think this is a project only for the stick thin, either; I did my part to represent curvier women. (Not a euphemism, I’m quite hour-glassy!) I know Philip has tried hard to include a really broad range of women’s shapes, sizes, and colours, and that diversity will make the end product all the more exciting.

If you’re not local to Melbourne, I encourage you to have a look at the site, consider writing a piece for the blog, and to keep your eyes peeled for a future launch of the coffee table book.”

Get together and compare !

Hi Philip

Wow, I saw the Vagina Monologues in London back in 2005, so I can understand why the show inspired you. Fantastic!

The ’101vagina’ project got me thinking - what a good relationship I have with mine. That I’ve only ever had caring and sensitive lovers (and only very kind doctors that I truly trusted), who have treated mine with great respect. Probably because I wouldn’t allow anythings less :-)

When I was in my early 20s, out having drinks with my 3 closest girlfriends (2 of which were lesbians, one of which was bisexual - so we were a bit more ‘liberal thinking’ than most girls), my best friend commented that she thought her clitoris was very long! Another friend admitted that she had ‘large inner labia lips’ (but loved them), and I commented quite candidly - that I’d only recently discovered- one of mine was much longer than the other! We all decided in the end, to get together and compare!! (The things you do after a few cocktails, LOL!)

It was a really amazing experience to see other women’s vaginas - in all their unique detail. You can’t help but notice the many little differences. I think we all felt quite awed (and privileged) to share such a naturally curious and intimate experience. Woman normally just don’t ever see other women’s privates (except in silly soft porn images, which are so unreal it’s just plain ridiculous).

It was then that I realised … our vaginas are as diverse as our faces! Small/big noses, thin/thick lips, pink/tan/brown colouring, soft/wiry hair, etc. And I suddenly appreciated that my own vagina was perfecty fine, exactly as it was :-)

I think the more art & film projects that show ‘real’ women’s bodies, and just how wonderfully different we are, the more educated and empowered women become - ie. confident girlfriends/wives, and strong mothers - and it makes the world a more supportive, concsious, loving place to be.

Kind regards
Angela

“Aware & Proud”

Hey Philip,

Great idea! :)

I would love to be involved, both by being photographed & by writing a short piece or paragraph.

It took me many years to feel comfortable with my vagina - to even look at it, properly, in a mirror. I used to think it was vulgar & something taboo, to be hidden & ashamed of. Much of that was to do with my early childhood sexual experiences - against my will.

I now think it is beautiful - a work of art :) MUCH healing has taken place for me over the years. I am 37 this year. It has only been approx 5yrs since I became more aware & proud of & in touch with my sexuality, and sexual organs.

What an amazing & empowering experience!

I highly commend you, for this magnificent idea! Women all over, even without any experience of sexual misconduct, are often shameful & afraid of their luscious womanly ‘parts’.

Such a book will bring awareness, self confidence - and probably a giggle :) to women - and men alike.

I am in!! :D

Shreya Xx

“Beautiful flower”

Hello there,

Good on you for such a remarkable idea! I am already trying to think of how I can have such a wonderful book in my house without my step children finding it. Or how I can get down to Melbourne, from Brisbane, so that I can participate. Although, I am a little disappointed that you are only taking a front on view, because I’ve always found puss’s to be the most beautiful flower when they are opened up and there is so much detail and difference when you can see the whole thing. I also understand that you would probably get much less participation if that was the prerequisite. So, fair play. Also, I guess, it might be seen as a wank book if you showed open flowers. I digress.

As I really couldn’t get down to Melbourne until September, I might try to write something worth showing.

Bravo to you - I wish you good luck in all that you endeavour,

Becca x