sharing

All in the details…

vagina

Photo courtesy of www.quickmeme.com 

“I have a hard time calling it anything else, but there are many other words for our lady parts…bush, twat, coochie, pussy, hoo hoo, vadge, and even the dreaded one, cunt. We have Oprah to thank for the famous “vahjayjay”. But, to me it will always be “vagina”. I guess because I just don’t see the point in not calling it what it is. I mean I get that there are certain times when we shouldn’t come out and say “vagina”, but come on ladies, why can’t we call it a vagina when we talk to each other? And why in the world can’t we talk in detail about it?!

I have so many friends who amazingly never talk/complain/mention anything about their vaginas. I mean, either their vaginas are perfect specimens or they are just embarrassed to talk about it. I will take a guess and say it is the second one. I get that. It took me years to break down and tell my best friend about all my problems after my son was born. My bestie, Connie, and I talk about everything. From our sex lives, my lack of sex life (after my son was born) and her always overly active sex life (which always pissed me off/made me very jealous). She knows everything about me and vice versa.  We probably know more about each other than our husbands do. (I am lucky to have her in my life.) But she did not know everything I went through with my vagina when my son was born. No one knew. Not my mother or sisters.  My husband didn’t really know. Hell, I barely knew what happened to it!

When I finally broke down and told her my problems with my vagina, she asked me why I didn’t tell her sooner. My answer was, “I guess because we never specifically talked details about our vaginas!”  I never went into deep detail about my vulva, my stitches, my swelling.  I never went into detail about my mediolateral episiotomy.  When I finally did and I described my “frankengina” (what my vagina looked like after two surgeries to repair the damage my doctor did during delivery of my son), she stared at me horror. It was at that moment that I realized that while I talk about a lot of things, while I am not shy and tend to say what is on my mind and not hold back, I had never really given details of what I went through. I never sat down and described (or drawn a picture) of all the hell I went through after my son was born, the hell I still go through with my damn vagina.

It was at this point that I realized that I am probably not the only one who has vagina horror stories.  So ladies…let’s talk about our vaginas…in detail!”

[The above originally appeared on the abrokenvagina.com blog here http://abrokenvagina.com/2013/03/10/all-in-the-details/ and is posted with the author’s permission]

Making private parts not so private

“Over the years I have had strong feelings of love and even stronger feelings of hatred for my womanly parts.

With my HPV status, my too many LEEP procedures to count, and my high risk pregnancy with my son, all the hell I went through during the labor and delivery and the surgeries that followed, more LEEP procedures and a deep rooted feeling I would eventually develop enough high grade dysplasia that a hysterectomy would be necessary, I have always thought one thing about my vagina, that it was broken.

Broken like a toy my son would play with. It still worked and functioned close to the way it was intended to, but it was definitely altered, and I want to write about it.

I want to share all of my sadness and my joy. I want to share my anger and my eventual acceptance with other women. I want to get down to the dirty details. To show an un-cut, honest look at my vagina. To invite women into the Gynecologist office, into the labor and delivery room, into my home, my bedroom, and my bathroom. I want them to know the deep dark secrets of my sex life, and stare into the one thing that haunted my relationship with my husband and myself, my vagina.

The reason I want to make my private parts not so “private” was so women would not be alone. So they can have a friend who understand what they go through. I want to be by their side. I want to be the friend that I so badly needed myself.”

Mary Catherine

Mary is the author of http://abrokenvagina.com/ a blog about her experiences centred around her vagina which she felt compelled to share after a particulary difficult delivery of her son.