fear

Making private parts not so private

“Over the years I have had strong feelings of love and even stronger feelings of hatred for my womanly parts.

With my HPV status, my too many LEEP procedures to count, and my high risk pregnancy with my son, all the hell I went through during the labor and delivery and the surgeries that followed, more LEEP procedures and a deep rooted feeling I would eventually develop enough high grade dysplasia that a hysterectomy would be necessary, I have always thought one thing about my vagina, that it was broken.

Broken like a toy my son would play with. It still worked and functioned close to the way it was intended to, but it was definitely altered, and I want to write about it.

I want to share all of my sadness and my joy. I want to share my anger and my eventual acceptance with other women. I want to get down to the dirty details. To show an un-cut, honest look at my vagina. To invite women into the Gynecologist office, into the labor and delivery room, into my home, my bedroom, and my bathroom. I want them to know the deep dark secrets of my sex life, and stare into the one thing that haunted my relationship with my husband and myself, my vagina.

The reason I want to make my private parts not so “private” was so women would not be alone. So they can have a friend who understand what they go through. I want to be by their side. I want to be the friend that I so badly needed myself.”

Mary Catherine

Mary is the author of http://abrokenvagina.com/ a blog about her experiences centred around her vagina which she felt compelled to share after a particulary difficult delivery of her son.