Personal stories from women to the world related to vaginas.
“26th May 2011
Today is the day that my baby is due, as I sit here and ponder, process, purge, cry, laugh, reminisce and prepare for her very eminent birth I also take some time to appreciate my vagina for it is about to undertake a very big task.
My vagina has gone by many names as well as served many purposes, I have always appreciated it, loved it and been filled with gratitude for the pleasure, pain and other sensations it has provided me with over the years. I have allowed it to be abused by myself and others but I have also paid great homage to the temple of my vagina. I have always loved its responsiveness and its never-ending variety of textures – providing a multitude of sensations. I used to love the way it looked in all its complete naturalness of being. However, things are pretty different down yonder these days, for starters, I can’t even see it!
I never would have imagined the changes that my vagina has undergone during my pregnancy, the sheer expansiveness that my vagina has expressed during my pregnancy is incredible. I had no idea that it would grow thicker, be at least twice as large as it used to be, be engorged with blood and be something that I can hardly recognise as my own sweet vagina. My vagina in some ways is not mine at the moment, my child has taken it over as her own portal and has morphed it into a swollen cushion to soften her soon-to-be grand entrance into the world. It has taken me a few months to not feel ashamed of it, to accept it and to get used to my ever-growing mound of Venus. I am blown away by the ability of my body to facilitate all manifestations of being a woman.
I wonder if it will return to how it used to look and feel after I give birth or is this my new vagina – fleshy, full and a monument to motherhood.
I honour my morphing vagina…and look forward to the next incarnation that it takes on.”
Top 10 Tips For Your Vagina
By Jacqueline Hellyer – www.jacquelinehellyer.com
A friend asked me recently what my top 10 tips for a vagina would be. Good question, I thought. So many women feel disconnected from their genitals, don’t have a good feeling about them. We don’t even have a decent word for them, often using the word “vagina” to apply to the whole genital area. So here I use the word ‘vagina’ to apply to just the vagina, and as to the whole of the genitals..? Well, read on!
- Honour It. The female genitals are the source of life. Other than a small input by the man at the start, the whole process of creating life takes place in the female genitals. That would have to be the most awesome thing in the entire universe!
- Name It. For such an awesome part of the body, it’s incredible that we don’t have a decent name, other than ‘genitals’. Even in casual talk there are not a lot of strong gorgeous names. We often refer to our ‘bits’, ‘down there’, ‘private parts’ or ‘nether regions’. It’s difficult to relate to an area of your body that you can’t even name! So give it a name: it’s my fanny or my quim, my yoni, qualia, bajingo, honey-pot, cinnebar crevasse….Even my cunt, because originally the meaning of the word cunt was “to beguile a man with one’s feminine charms”, which is rather a wonderful concept.
- Understand It. I think one of the reasons women don’t feel so good about their quim/farfalla/bajingo is because they don’t know how incredible it is. Women are built for extreme sexual pleasure! The anatomy, the physiology, the energetics. Once you understand that, and realise what you’re sexual potential is, then wow, you’re going to love it. Do you know how big your clitoris is? Most of it is on the inside! Do you know how much engorging material there is down there? How orgasms work? How you can go beyond normal orgasm to an orgasmic state? All thanks to your amazing bajingo.
- Incorporate It. It’s part of your body, so feel it as part of your body. Close your eyes and and go over every part of it in your mind, both the inside and the outside. Explore it with your hands and fingers. Take a good look at it in the mirror. When you can recline in front of a mirror with legs wide apart and look and say to yourself “Mmm, that is gorgeous!”, then you’ll know it’s part of you.
- Pamper It. Our bodies love and deserve to be pampered. It’s so good for the soul. Your honey-pot is part of your body and deserves that pampering too. So if you’re in a hot bath, part your legs and allow the warmth to wash over it. If you’re in the ocean, part your legs and allow the salty sting of the water to caress it. When you apply creams to you body, slather yourself all over (no creams or oils on the inside though). When making love with your partner, request/invite/allow it to be touched/massaged/embraced.
- Pleasure It. Our genitals are made for pleasure. The clitoris has no purpose at all, other than to provide exquisite pleasure. The mass of nerves, engorging material, lubricating and wetting functions, all conspire to show that our fannys are meant to be used for pleasure. So do so. With one another or on your own. Particularly on your own. The womanly art of self-pleasuring is so important to self-loving and self-honouring. See my video on self pleasuring if you need advice on how to do this (www.jacquelinehellyer.com/info_videos.htm).
- Listen to It. This is particularly in relation to having sex. One of the biggest problems I’ve noticed with people’s sex lives is that they move too fast. You have to listen to your body and in particular to your quim to know when you’re ready to move on. So you don’t start to kiss until your mouth is drawn to your partner’s. You don’t allow your breasts to be touched until you feel them lifting and moving towards your partner, wanting to be touched. You don’t allow your qualia to be touched until you feel your hips raising and your legs opening. And you don’t allow your partner to enter you until you feel your cinnebar crevasse yearning for his jade stalk, your yoni invites in his lingam, your cunt is dripping with desire for his cock… If you’re not really feeling it, don’t go there.
Now some tips on keeping it in good shape:
- Squeeze It. There’s a band of muscle that goes from your pubic bone to your tail bone. It’s important to keep it toned as it does some very important things. Firstly, it holds all your internal organs in place. If you don’t keep those muscles toned, your vagina might fall out when you get old. I kid you not, vaginal prolapse can happen to older women. Secondly, the contraction of these muscles is an important part of orgasm. The more toned the muscles, the better the orgasm. So ladies – squeeze! And squeeze some more! Imagine you’re stopping urine from flowing, those are the muscles to use. Squeeze rhythmically, then squeeze and hold a few seconds, then squeeze progressively tighter, keeping your abdominal muscles relaxed.
- Rest It. Rest is such an important part of health and well being. It applies to your vagina too. It’s good to give it a rest. Particularly during your period. In many traditional cultures women would take time out during their period to relax and rest, often with other women. This is not as many anthropologists have interpreted it because the women were considered ‘unclean’ at that time, but because it was a sacred time for a woman to go within. We modern women would benefit from doing the same. Take it easy during your period, especially the heavier days. Avoid exerting yourself, be peaceful, and avoid genital stimulation, especially intercourse. Get into the rhythm of your cycle, be aware of the ebbs and flows of your energy and work with those flows, rather than ignoring them or fighting them.
- Let it flow. And finally, on the topic of menstruation, let it flow. I do believe modern women try to hide to ignore and hide their cycles excessively. Tampons have their place, but if you let the blood flow, you’ll get more in touch with your body. So rest and let the blood flow during your period, and you’ll find more energy and more intuitive flow in the rest of your life.
To get more in touch with your feminine sexuality, attend one of my Luscious Woman workshops: www.jacquelinehellyer.com/luscious-woman
Wow, I saw the Vagina Monologues in London back in 2005, so I can understand why the show inspired you. Fantastic!
The ‘101vagina’ project got me thinking – what a good relationship I have with mine. That I’ve only ever had caring and sensitive lovers (and only very kind doctors that I truly trusted), who have treated mine with great respect. Probably because I wouldn’t allow anythings less :-)
When I was in my early 20s, out having drinks with my 3 closest girlfriends (2 of which were lesbians, one of which was bisexual – so we were a bit more ‘liberal thinking’ than most girls), my best friend commented that she thought her clitoris was very long! Another friend admitted that she had ‘large inner labia lips’ (but loved them), and I commented quite candidly – that I’d only recently discovered- one of mine was much longer than the other! We all decided in the end, to get together and compare!! (The things you do after a few cocktails, LOL!)
It was a really amazing experience to see other women’s vaginas – in all their unique detail. You can’t help but notice the many little differences. I think we all felt quite awed (and privileged) to share such a naturally curious and intimate experience. Woman normally just don’t ever see other women’s privates (except in silly soft porn images, which are so unreal it’s just plain ridiculous).
It was then that I realised … our vaginas are as diverse as our faces! Small/big noses, thin/thick lips, pink/tan/brown colouring, soft/wiry hair, etc. And I suddenly appreciated that my own vagina was perfecty fine, exactly as it was :-)
I think the more art & film projects that show ‘real’ women’s bodies, and just how wonderfully different we are, the more educated and empowered women become – ie. confident girlfriends/wives, and strong mothers – and it makes the world a more supportive, concsious, loving place to be.
(Email published with sender’s permission)
“Vagina, vajayjay, punani, fanny, cunt, twat, Hairy Mary, yoni, pussy, kitty, muff, beaver, box, honey pot, coochie, muff ………………….
The list goes on.
Vaginas are like noses and hands, they all look so completely different and are 100% EXCEPTIONAL.
Like with anything: it’d be pretty boring if there were no variety. It’s like Kinder Surprise: you never know what toy you’re going to get.
They vary as much as penises and bananas which can be wide, thin, long, short, left or right leaning, up turning, down turning.
They come in all shapes and sizes. From my experience I can tell you no two look the same. Dark pubes, light pubes, tight and curly, coarse, fine, wavy, a neat triangle, an absolute amazon, or none, or just a landing strip. The lips: like shades of red/pink/brown lipstick: a spectrum of colours. Some are big, some small, some hidden, some hanging out. Some are tangy, sweet, wide, loose. Seriously it’s a real bag of mixed lollies: clitoris allsorts!
That still doesn’t stop us feeling like ours is completely different to every other one and having feelings of insecurity. But it’s no different to any other body part, some people think they have strange looking legs, or feet or hands. There’s no such thing as ‘normal’
I had a partner who always took the piss out of my rather large labia and I didn’t sleep with anyone else for about 5 years after that.!!!! I can’t believe I did that, what a waste!
I’ve learned that it really doesn’t matter what yours looks like because whoever sees it will have seen X amount that look completely different.
Your vagina is GREAT it’s like no one else’s: it’s got character (mine looks like a turkey), it’s your friend. Despite bleeding every 3 – 5 weeks, being itchy at times and having a mind of its own (that can get you in sticky situations) it’s your best friend. Think of all the FANTASTIC times you share.
To me every vagina is amazing, individual, fun, warm, and great to look at, touch, taste and smell.
Thank you for giving us this opportunity to put ours on display and celebrate them for all their UNIQUENESS.
Love, embrace and share your beautiful flowers.”
“When I reached puberty I always thought my vagina was ‘normal’. This was however until my older sister saw me naked me one day and proceeded to tell me that I was ‘abnormal’, since my labia protruded from my vagina. In view of this my whole outlook of my body changed. From that day on I felt ugly. Although I have taken steps to talk to my body whilst looking at my vagina and tell myself I am beautiful, I continue to struggle with wholy loving and accepting that I am indeed not aesthetically ugly but beautiful. Iam 42 years old. This is my biggest challenge in life. I have a divinely beautiful life however if I am honest to myself it continues to have an impact on me in different ways than being sexually abused as a child/adult has. Thank you for allowing an avenue to express my hang up! :)
Great idea! :)
I would love to be involved, both by being photographed & by writing a short piece or paragraph.
It took me many years to feel comfortable with my vagina – to even look at it, properly, in a mirror. I used to think it was vulgar & something taboo, to be hidden & ashamed of. Much of that was to do with my early childhood sexual experiences – against my will.
I now think it is beautiful – a work of art :) MUCH healing has taken place for me over the years. I am 37 this year. It has only been approx 5yrs since I became more aware & proud of & in touch with my sexuality, and sexual organs.
What an amazing & empowering experience!
I highly commend you, for this magnificent idea! Women all over, even without any experience of sexual misconduct, are often shameful & afraid of their luscious womanly ‘parts’.
Such a book will bring awareness, self confidence – and probably a giggle :) to women – and men alike.
I am in!! :D
(Email published with sender’s permission)